Linden Unit

I am working on a series of cartoons depicting interesting residents of the linden medical unit here at Faribault Correctional. This post is dedicated to the hard-working Linden unit C.O.’s + Health services staff at MCF-Faribault who have to deal with these wackos on a daily basis and also to the inmate aids who do a thankless job.

Mr. Meech runs to medical unit supervisors when he thinks we are running or walking too fast with the wheelchairs. He says we are wearing out the bearings. Last month he snitched out two officers to the new warden claiming,” They let people get away with too much.” What a rat.

Ash was a resident of this unit till he threatened bodily harm to Sgt. Krenz, then he got sent to Rush city prison. Not a nice place. He claims that a couple of black guys knocked his skull against concrete many times. He now is in a wheelchair and wears a rubber helmet. But he is still mentally twisted and paranoid, just now he does it while sitting.

$100
Mr. Spillman is a long-term resident of this unit. he is moist most of the time and has been seen walking around naked from the waist down demanding 3 blue diapers. He killed his wife and daughters then failed to successfully take his own life by a gunshot to the head.

$100
Mr. Jones is an ancient (79) heroin addict and he hates white people. He should be in a shelter, not a prison. Mr. Jones gets a supplemental bag at chow and he shouts through the food port, “Ey, lemme git dat bag, don’t be playin no games, ya hillbilly.”

$100
Mr. Kelly is a child molester who can barely read or write. From what I hear the reason his head is permantly tilted to the right is due to an enraged father striking him with a 2×4 and then burying the nasty end of a clawhammer in his skull. He gets out December of 2011. He likes to check the vending machines for change.

$100
I am Mr. Mangens’ whellchair pusher. He is called chicken wing because of the way he hold his arm due to a stroke. He does not regularly shower and occasionally will wash his hair in the toilet. He sleeps in his clothes and recently got off the stool, turned around as a peice of shit rolled off his ass, down his pants, sock and shoe, he then stepped in the turd, returned to his room and hopped into bed with his dirty clothes still on. It took four days to convince him to shower and change pants. I wear latex exam gloves to push him to dining hall.